“Then along came my first savior. A French teacher. When I was fourteen. Who spotted me for what I was: a sincere […] storyteller.”
While we traditionally believe that identity is how we see ourselves, there are times when others see parts of us that we simply cannot. This is precisely what Daniel Pennac’s musings in School Blues underscore: the importance of finding your identity. Whether that stems from discomfort or fear of acknowledging a perceived weakness or that it’s so core to who we are, it doesn’t stand out to us, a teacher, a parent, a mentor, a manager, or a leader can bring these pieces of ourselves to the surface.
Pennac’s own example comes from a teacher who saw his artistic brilliance as a writer:
“No doubt amazed by my increasingly inventive excuses as to why I hadn’t done my revision of homework, he decided to excise me from essays and commission a novel instead […], at the rate of a chapter a week. On a subject of my own choosing, but with the proviso that I deliver my installments without spelling mistakes […]. This teacher, an extremely elderly man, dedicated the last years of his life to us, rounding out his retirement in that ultra-private school in the suburbs north of Paris. An old gentleman of old-fashioned distinction who had spotted the narrator in me. […] he’d clearly realized that the only way to get through to me was via narrative. I wrote that novel with enthusiasm […] and I delivered my chapters as punctually as a professional writer submitting in installments. […] I don’t think I made substantial progress in any subject that year, but, for the first time in my experience, a teacher had accorded me some kind of status; I existed academically, as an individual with a path to follow, and as someone who kept going to the end.”
The takeaway for us is that identity may come from the reality outside of us as much as within us, like a continuous series of mirrors. It is most often referred to as an active finding, where we see ourselves in our own authenticity. At the same time, it can be possible that others see us deeply at our core before we do.
Identity is particularly important to leaders—how you show up and how others perceive you directly impacts your effectiveness. While some people may still subscribe to the media-popularized notions of lone wolf executives who can’t seem to get along with anyone but are so brilliant it doesn’t matter, the reality is those leaders make their circumstances more complicated going it alone versus bringing others along with them. This implies, how does your leadership style define your identity, and also how does it help others’ identity to be defined and empowered?
In our work with leaders around the world, we often see identity at play. Sander Tideman, author of Triple Value Leadership and faculty at our partner Mobius, notes that an important part of leadership identity is that it can change. “Through reflective practice, physical relaxation, dialogue and coaching, there are openings for re-scripting your narrative, and then you can see miracles happening,” he explains. “When you give [people] some tools to be that authentic self or their future selves, the one they would like to become, then there is more energy, more passion, more purpose. And then suddenly, shifts can happen.”
Further underscoring the idea that identity is not static, author and London Business School Professor Herminia Ibarra delves into this concept, offering insightful ideas for career transformation in her book, One is to “Act your way into a new way of thinking and being. You cannot discover yourself by introspection.” This isn’t to say that introspection isn’t important—it’s more that identity can’t be approached by observation of your current state alone. Instead of instantly going inward, go outward—change how you act and respond and see what happens. Then take note of it and continue to experiment. To reflect on our own identities—and their potential evolution—it’s worth considering the following questions—and ask them of others.
Leadership and Identity Questions for Reflection
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When does finding your identity feel like an active or a passive action?
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How easy is it for you to see people around you in their own identities?
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Is it more powerful for you to see yourself or to be seen?
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When you let others define your identity, when do you experience positive outcomes, and when not-so-positive outcomes?
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What would people say you are known for? What do you wish people would say you are known for?
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How much of one’s identity is defined by what society makes us see versus who we really are?
Do these questions resonate with you? Which ones strike a major chord? Is there a book you’d like to see discussed in this series? on LinkedIn to share.
Daniel Pennac, School Blues, MacLehose Press, 2010 - Translated from French by Sarah Ardizzone
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